Day #38: Why is my car groaning?

Here I am in my 9-year-old Audi TT sports car.

On September 17th (2010), after running in the Traveler’s 5K road race, I accidentally went over a curb in my 9-year-old sports car, as I was backing out of a parking lot onto a busy street.

Ordinarily, I’d berate myself, yet this time I said out loud:  “It was a mistake pure and simple. Everybody makes mistakes sometimes in their lives.” Then I apologized to my car: “Dear car, I really like you and I’m sooo sorry I might have damaged you by backing over the curb.” Then I asked its forgiveness.

Whether or not my black Audi TT convertible has forgiven me, it certainly has been letting me know it’s been wounded: it groans every time I drive it.

“I really should have my car checked out,” I’ve been telling myself for two months, however I haven’t done a thing about it. Instead, I’ve been vexed about the time it would take to drive across town and wait while my car is examined. I’ve been thinking about the money it might cost to have my car repaired, too. Worst of all, I’ve been fixating about how foolish (stupid really) I’d feel if my car requires a major repair.

“It’s all my fault,” I might say.

Yet, after I jettisoned the “not good enough” feeling I’d been carrying around since I was a five-year-old, by being brave enough to tell my step-mother I felt betrayed by her disinheriting me, I decided that having my car looked out would be easy pickins. So this afternoon I called Prestige Motor Cars and made an appointment for one o’clock tomorrow. I’ll bring a book with me, and  read for the forty-five minutes it takes. And if more time is required, I’ll smile sweetly and think about how lucky I am to have such a project to address. Because things could be otherwise. And someday they will.

Likewise, I’ll withhold judgment about what the car repair might cost. Rather, I’m telling myself that everything is going to work out fine. It always has, and it always will. One way or the other!

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